Close(r) to The End?: 34 Weeks Pregnant

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How far along?  34 Weeks.  But since my midwife is “convinced” I will have the baby between 37-38 weeks, I feel much farther along than that.

Seriously.  She actually told me that she’s sure Pelé will come within the next 3-4 weeks.  Which… I mean… okay.  But, really?

And since I’m doing this post late, that actually means 2.5-3.5 weeks.  Yes, it’s only a couple of days difference.  But when it comes to having another baby, those days mean everything!

Holy sh*t, sh*t’s getting real….

Baby’s size:  BIG.  Well, probably only big in comparison to Bee at this stage.

He’s definitely starting to run out of room in there – the baby that was once Pelé, the great, lithe Brazilian football player, jumping and bouncing and kicking away in my belly, is now a big, fat, lazy kid, slowly rolling around, all elbows and knees and feet up in my ribs….

According to, he’s around the size of a cantaloupe and weighing in at close to 5 pounds.

Some nights though, when I’m having trouble falling asleep because gravity is pulling my belly in unholy directions, he feels a LOT bigger than 5 pounds.

Total weight gain:  At my last midwife weigh-in, according to their ever-changing scale situation, I have gained 26 pounds.  2 pounds more than with Bee, and counting.

NOTE:  Since I am posting this a few days late after a wedding and a weekend away indulging in breakfast buffets and gourmet food, I can say with all surety that I have gained more than that.  

Maternity clothes?  A little ditty about a rare case of maternity clothes being “optional”:

My hair stylist is an adorable, first-pregnant woman, currently 37+ weeks along, who never ever bought maternity clothes.  Not one thing.  I saw her last week and she was wearing a crop top.


That somehow managed to cover most of her cute, perfectly round belly, and not look weird or forced or ridiculous.

As for me?  Still, yes.  Of course.  Is there any need to answer this question anymore?  It’s not like I’m suddenly going to stop wearing maternity clothes this far in the game, right?  Unless I finally reach the end of my rope and once and for all decide to, “f*ck clothes.  F*ck pants.  F*ck anything touching my skin ever again!”  Which, honestly, sometimes, I feel like it’s getting close to that.

But, in the case of my hair stylist, I guess it is possible.  That there is a magical tribe of pregnant women out there who don’t need to wear maternity clothes.  Who can tweak regular fashion to accommodate their growing frame and get away with it throughout the entire 9+ months…


Best moment this week:  I’m writing this a couple of days late because we were out of town for a wedding – Hubs’ best friend got married in beautiful Caledon, and acted as their officiant.  There was an unseasonable chill in the air, but the wind only brought out the incredible movement of the bride’s stunning dress, and it meant that everyone had to enjoy just one or two drinks more to stay warm.

My parents came along to look after Bee while we attended the ceremony, which my in-laws also were invited to.  So Bee had both sets of grandparents to entertain her at the SAME TIME.  For the first time since… well, since before she has memory!  She was spoiled with love, allowing Hubs and I some brief time to ourselves.  It was glorious, and even the cooler than normal weather couldn’t bring us down.

ALSO.  Baby clothes!  Okay, so I wouldn’t say that this was a “best moment”, but starting to finally wash and organize all of the stuff we have for Pelé is calming this nagging nesting urge a bit.  I’m starting to feel like we’re actually getting somewhere in preparing for his impending arrival!

As I type this, Hubs is in the basement unloading the hundreds of planks and knobs and screws and Allan keys from the IKEA box, sorting it all out so we can tackle it together once Bee is up from her nap.  We’ll see how much help she and I are in the cramped quarters of the basement, but I’d like to still give it a go, since it was my project to begin with!!

Anyway.  Baby clothes!  If you watch my vlog you’ll see that the most recent purchase, a set of TEENY TINY OHMYGODTHEYARESOTEENYTINY baby socks completely threw me off-guard when I first saw them.  Really, truly.  Holding them in my hands, I thought, “no.  NO.  There’s no WAY they’re this small when they come out.”

It’s amazing how you forget these things, the incredible teeeeeeeniness of a newborn.  How teeny their wee little feet are.  Their hands, their ears….

The saleswoman assured me that yes, they will definitely fit him (they stretch, so…).  Even though it’s just so hard to believe…. I’ll keep you posted on that.

Miss Anything?   If you’ve been following along you’ll know that I’m a big fan of wine and beer, and that I say with each and every update that I miss it like crazy.  This is all still very true, especially after being at an amazing wedding where the booze was flowing like… booze at a wedding.

So I don’t need to go into that again, since I’m worried that you’re all going to start thinking I’m more excited to get my hands on a glass of champagne than the actual baby I’m about to have.


Seriously though.  Booze aside.  As I come to the end of my rapidly fraying pregnancy rope, here is a bulleted list of the many other things I am missing:

  • Being able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like an asthmatic, water-logged hippo.
  • Rounding a corner/approaching a counter without caution.
  • Drinking that fourth cup of coffee in the morning, just because.
  • Bending over.
  • Going to the bathroom only when I really have to.
  • Actually wanting to wear skinny jeans, or any pants in general.
  • Not having to worry about whether or not my belly will hang out from under a shirt.
  • Running and jumping and playing with Bee, with all the energy in the world.  Picking her up and throwing her around. Having her sit on my lap while I read her stories.  Snuggling with her as close and as tight as possible.  Lying on my husband while we watch TV after she goes to bed.  Keeping up with him and his tallness at a regular pace on those rare evenings when we can pick her up from school together.
  • Just… feeling like myself.  I can’t wait to feel like myself again.

Movement:  Actually, this week, he’s slowed down quite a bit.  I guess it’s because things are getting pretty tight in there, but also, a baby’s movement slows as they approach their due date.  So maybe the end really is near!

Food cravings:  Still carbs and sweets, but I’m not too fussy.  I’ve been eating a lot of salty food, too.  My palate is open-minded as I approach the end!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  The only time I’m not interested in food is in the evening – I could eat four breakfasts and pound a couple of burgers at lunch every day, but once 4pm-ish come around I just stop being hungry.

This is becoming a problem because it also means come dinner-prep time, the last thing I want to do is cook.  So lately it’s been a lot of half-assed dinners and takeout, which honestly I’m not too happy about.  I’m just hoping the desire to batch cook kicks in soon so I can at least stock up on stuff to freeze before Pelé arrives!

Gender:  Boy.

Symptoms:  All the same glorious things as 32 weeksplus one more surprise!

  • Swollen feet
  • Lower back pain
  • Swamp mouth
  • Insomnia (formerly The Witching Hour)
  • Restless Leg Syndrome
  • Heartburn
  • NEW THIS WEEK:  SKIN TAGS (down boys).  I had a couple with Bee and thought I’d managed to avoid getting them this time around.  Sadly, not the case.  I noticed one last week and cried for ten minutes.  They’re super gross and super random and I have no idea why they happen during pregnancy but they DO so please don’t approach me as though I’m a leper because as quickly as they appear, they disappear almost as soon as you have the baby.

Belly Button in or out?

Looking forward to:  So many women are telling me these days to “enjoy these last few weeks!  Soak it all in, the majesty of being pregnant, having the belly, feeling the baby move around…..”

Blah, blah, blah.

Guys.  Seriously?  Aside from being able to do all the things on the Things That I Miss list again, and obviously finally having Pelé in my arms, the one thing I am looking forward to MORE THAN ANYTHING is:


There.  I said it.  Am I a horrible excuse for a woman for feeling this way?  I don’t think so.

But tell me, if you’re pregnant, are you going to miss it when it’s all over?  I’d love to take a poll on this.

Or, if you have been pregnant, do you wish you could feel all that “majesty” all over again?  

Let me know!


8 thoughts on “Close(r) to The End?: 34 Weeks Pregnant

    Lauren Lawrence said:
    August 17, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    I’m totally with you on not LOVING being pregnant all the time! I mean, in some ways it’s definitely kind of cool and even if you can’t sleep, at least you can lie down and don’t have to rock a screaming baby back to sleep FOREVER and EVER…BUT…meh…nine months is SOOOOOOOO long!!! And meeting your bundle of crying baby is SO much better than being pregnant 🙂 I don’t miss pregnancy really. I will miss having a teeny tiny baby once my last one gets a little older…that will be sad to me. Having to give away those teeny tiny little socks for good is just so final…that, I will miss! They grow up too fast!

      mamabethbarnes responded:
      August 18, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      A friend said something to me right after Bee was born that didn’t sink in until much, much later, something along the lines of, “carry them, hold them, sleep with them, be with them, for as long as possible. Because before you blink your eyes they’ll be too big, too independent, and you won’t get that precious time back.” I plan on basking in Pelé’s teeniness as much as possible for as long as possible. Sure, I’m over being pregnant because I’m reeeeally uncomfortable, but man… really, I just want that baby in my arms 🙂

    nburnie said:
    August 18, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Being officially 40 weeks pregnant today, I can tell you that I am not going to miss it! And by all accounts I have had an extremely easy pregnancy…right from the beginning. I think that once you get to the end though all that is forgotten and you just want to be done with it! Good luck in the last few weeks!

      mamabethbarnes responded:
      August 18, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      You forget *everything* the second the baby is born! I think that’s how Mother Nature intended it, so women will do it more than once! I can’t believe you’re 40 weeks, that’s amazing! I’ll be thinking about you over the next couple of weeks, and hoping everything goes smoothly! Can’t wait to hear all about it 🙂

    Still Here! Still Pregnant! | I Am The Mama Mantra said:
    September 12, 2014 at 9:00 am

    […] I’m sitting (uncomfortably) at 38 weeks + 2 days pregnant.  Which, if you remember from my 34-week pregnancy update, is just outside the cusp of when my midwife predicted I’d go into labour. […]

    Still Here! Still Pregnant! | I Am The Mama Mantra said:
    September 12, 2014 at 9:00 am

    […] I’m sitting (uncomfortably) at 38 weeks + 2 days pregnant.  Which, if you remember from my 34-week pregnancy update, is just outside the cusp of when my midwife predicted I’d go into labour. […]

    lizzbert said:
    September 12, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Oh my god, preach it! I’m at 38 weeks, the baby is estimated at 7+ pounds, and I just want to have my body to myself. 🙂 To a degree, anyway.

    August & Everything After – I Am The Mama Mantra said:
    January 14, 2015 at 11:54 am

    […] course, the first, and probably the most important thing, was the much anticipated arrival of our son, Li’l Bubs (formerly known as Pelé).  He roared into our lives in the […]

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