Just Call Me Stretch: 22 Weeks Pregnant

Posted on Updated on

May 28, 2014

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Yet still, somehow – by the grace of God? – no stretch marks.

“How could this BE??” I continue to ask myself every time I inspect the ever-expanding, ever-swelling belly.

“But you didn’t get any with Bee,” my husband says, as I pull at the skin around my belly button to make sure I haven’t missed one.

“Yes, but this time is different.  This time it’s a BOY, which means I’m going to get BIGGER, which is a FACT OF SCIENCE.”

“Well, just keep using that gross oil on your belly and you should be fine.”

“It’s not gross,” I hiss.  “It’s lovely and I love it and it for sure helps but… this time… I just have a feeling….”

What that feeling is are my insides being slowly pulled apart by some invisible, inhumane torture device every minute of every day.  So how is it possible I’ve been spared thus far?!!

Thus far.  It is still early days, unfortunately.  There’s still plenty of time for those squiggly lines to appear.

And then there’s the discomfort.  STILL and ALWAYS.  I can’t ever seem to find a good position, not when I’m sitting down, or lying down… or standing up, for that matter.  Or leaning.  Or walking, or waddling, or shuffling, or bending.  Oh man, bending.

Please can I not ever have to bend down ever again?


Thank God for my beloved yoga ball, the one I got all of the use out of when pregnant with Bee. Not for yoga though, guys (hahahahahahahaaaa!).  No, definitely not for that.

Nope.  It’s for sitting on.

Just… sitting. Not bouncing, not stretching, not balancing on while lifting 3 pound weights.

I have this ball for the sole purpose of sitting on it, and maybe rocking slightly from side-to-side. But here’s the thing: there’s something to that motion, that simple, swaying motion: something about it, about having my tailbone sink into the softness of the latex (or rubber or whatever it’s made of), that causes me to exhale a deep, primal, resonating “aaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahohmygodthatfeelssogoooooood,” every time.

It’s almost like I’m floating, that’s how good it is.

Which, if you’re pregnant or have ever been pregnant, you’ll know is the most heavenly feeling.  Like getting into a pool or sinking into the bath, you’re suddenly weightless and the relief you experience is – otherworldly.

At the end of the day, when the achiness is at it’s peak, I’ll roll that ball out from the corner, plunk right down and feel all the pain and discomfort melt away.

So, if you’re starting to feeeeeeeeeeeel reeeeeally pregnant and don’t yet have a yoga ball, I would highly recommend you get one!  You don’t need anything fancy; Amazon has dozens of good options to choose from at varying  prices.  I’m not sure what brand mine is, but it did come with a pump, which you’ll need.

And if you do have a ball, get that sucker out and start SITTING!

I promise you will wonder how you ever got through these last few months without one.


Which Fruit/Veg Is Pelé This Week:


According to whattoexpect.com, he is now approximately the size of a spaghetti squash.

Um, WTF?!  That’s huge!

I’m always floored when I read the veggie/fruit size comparison.  Even though it definitely feels like he’s the size of a million spaghetti squashes, it never ceases to amaze me that this tiny person is that big already.

I think I’ll include this little section at the end of each pregnancy update going forward – I’ll even try and refrain from checking beforehand; I’ll leave it a surprise for all of us!



One thought on “Just Call Me Stretch: 22 Weeks Pregnant

    Kat Inokai said:
    June 5, 2014 at 4:18 pm


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