January 15, 2014
This is a good thing.
No. This is a great thing.
You wanted this. You and hubs discussed it and decided that it was time to add to the family, so you started taking the… ehem… steps, to make it happen.
It’s just… so fast! The first month! Done! Baby! Sibling! Pregnancy! Barfing, bloating, exhaustion, restless legs, sore back, sore boobs, skin tags, bleeding gums, swollen feet, cankles, sleepless nights, peeing seven thousand times a day…
NO BOOZE! Oh my God. No booze.
But then, after all that awfulness….
A squishy, soft, heaven-scented baby. Who will probably cry. And poop on me. And, if he/she is anything like Bee, will constantly be barfing on me, too. But that’s nothing. At all.
Oh my God. I’m going to have two kids. TWO KIDS. ME!
That is, if everything goes smoothly. If everything “sticks”, as they say on all those TTC* boards.
But now’s not the time to think those thoughts. Now’s the time for… celebrating? Freaking out? How about a little from column A) and a little from column B).
Right now though, I’m mostly feeling column B). Having recently learned the company I work for is closing it’s doors makes this not exactly the ideal time to bring another baby into the world. Financially, anyway. I’m mostly worried about getting a new job before I start showing – I’ve heard that starts happening sooner the second time ’round. And the way I feel right now, I believe it. Already with the bloating! At 4 weeks pregnant! And this morning I felt the familiar wave of nausea, just a slight lapping against the shoreline, but most definitely there….
A storm’s a-comin’….
I had it bad with Bee. So bad, I actually lost weight during the first trimester. I better start praying to whatever deity is in charge of this to PLEASE SPARE ME THIS TIME OH GOD PLEASE SPARE ME.
And the breastfeeding! I’m still nursing Bee! Can I still do that?! Is there anything that can happen to the baby while still breastfeeding my first?! I’m familiar with pregnancy, I can handle it the second time around. But this is a foreign situation so strange, I NEVER thought I’d be here! I think I’ve read something about “tandem nursing” somewhere along the line, but didn’t put any thought into it because I never thought I would need to!
It’s okay. I’ll figure it out. I’m sure millions of women around the world are in the exact same position, doing the exact same thing, worrying about the same stuff, imagining the future of the household: the craziness, the messiness, the chorus of voices and cries and laughter. The hugging, the fighting, the double-bathing and bedtimes. Brother? Sister? Who is this baby going to be for Bee?
Oh my God. Bee.
Bee is going to be a big sister. She won’t be the baby anymore. I just… I can’t even think about that. Not right now. Because she still is my baby! Right now, in this moment. Sleeping down the hall. My little baby girl, unknowing of the life that is going to be joining us in a mere, what? 8 months?
This is a good thing. A very good thing….
So I guess this now officially turns the blog into a place for you guys to come for my Pregnancy Countdown. Obviously you’re reading this in the future (woooooooOOOOOooOo!), since at my age – ehem – I really shouldn’t be making any announcements until I’m past the 12-week mark.
Looking ahead, I guess I’ll try and do updates as often as I can, and maybe once I get into the second trimester I’ll throw a vlog in here and there? What do you think? Is that something you’d like to see? Don’t worry, I’m not planning on showing off my naked belly or anything. NO ONE wants to get involved with that. Unless… you do? I don’t know! Ask though, and I shall (try and) deliver.
Oh, geez. This is happening, isn’t it? I hope you guys stay with me through this – I often find strength in numbers!